Guiding Your Child towards Using the Toilet

Over the last 30 years of working with children, I have observed that most, not all, but most, children will spontaneously toilet train themselves when they are developmentally -not chronologically- ready.  This usually happens between two years and three & a half years of age.

Toilet learning should be a positive experience for a child.  Generally it will only take a short period of time if the child is ready.  Toilet learning is as individual as learning to walk.  There is no right age by which all children should be using the toilet. We have found that many children train later than in previous decades, most likely due to the wonderful dryness quality of disposable diapers.

The child will give indicators of readiness:

1.  Longer periods of dryness or waking up dry.

2.  Bowel movements are regular and predictable.

3.  The child becomes uncomfortable with soiled or wet diapers and asks to be changed,

4.  The child asks to use the toilet or potty chair or to wear “grown-up underwear”.

5.  The child can take off his/her pants, walk to the bathroom and get up and down from the toilet or get on the potty chair.

6.  The child knows when he or she needs to use the potty.

If all of the above are true, it is highly likely that your child is ready to begin.

At school the teachers do preliminary preparation for toilet training.  They point out the toilet being used by the child’s friends.  They discuss the process of changing diapers with the child and suggest the alternatives.  The teachers ask the children if they want to sit on the toilet.

It’s best that the child master toilet training at home for several weeks before being taken out of diapers at school.  This means being out of diapers at home totally and being able to manage it.  Then the child is ready to deal with toilet training and the distractions of school activities.

The teachers at Starbright will have a fairly accurate picture of when a child is approaching readiness.  But it is the parent who really knows.  Usually the parent will tell us “he/she is using the toilet at home and has been dry for several weeks!”  That is when it is time for the teacher to follow through.

Home & School Prep

• Use correct language about body parts and elimination terms.
• Begin changing the child standing up.
• Teach your child to thoroughly wash their hands after using the potty.
• Teach your child to flush the toilet after use.

When Toilet Learning has happened successfully at home and it is time to stop wearing diapers at school:

• Dress the child in manageable clothing: easy to pull up and pull down, with few snaps or buttons; loose clothing such as elastic waist pants, not coveralls.
• Dresses make it hard for the child to see to pull down pants.
• Wear cloth underpants so that he/she is aware when there is an accident.
• At least three pairs of extra clothes, including socks, should be sent everyday, as well as an extra pair of shoes.
• Let us know if a boy will sit or stand and let us know what words you are using at home.
• Potty seats are welcome at this point.
• Using diapers at naptime will be determined by both the parents and the teachers.
• At the school we leave the bathroom door open for supervision purposes.
• Help your child practice on the school toilets before they start using them independently.

The school has developed strategies to use for the children who do not spontaneously toilet train.  The director usually has a conference with the parents and together they form a plan of action for home and school that is effective.  Starbright is willing to individualize a great deal and work with the parents on toilet training

• If your child is toilet learning please be prepared for accidents at school.
• Make sure their clothing box is well stocked with appropriate clothing.
• Teachers will work with children to encourage toilet learning.  However; the teachers will not force a child to toilet learn.